These ladies don’t look like strippers! They look like someone’s mother!!

The strippers of 1957 look so much classier somehow.

Go now and get some iron on transfer printer paper and follow the directions. You will be the coolest kid on the block what with a hairy dude coming out of your pants…uh… yeah. Honest, super cool.

Capable of killing at close range. Illegal in the U.S. You can order it made with 18-carat gold, studded with diamonds.

I’ll take two please.